I thought this was a compelling poem to share. For some readers, it may seem cheesy. For others who have been through difficult times with someone important, it may strike home. While I don’t like taking the route of modern media (”names have been changed…”), privacy is often important. For that reason, I will simply copy it… Please enjoy.

You’ve seen the very worst of me, and yet you’ve still been there, You’ve seen the very worst of me but still love me and show that you care

There is laughter and love and fun and that but there certainly is more, With it has come my baggage and pain, and often my hurt galore

You’ve seen me cry, you’ve heard me scream, you hear my plead for rest, And through it all you stand there, offering me your best

Time and time and time again to me you’ve made it clear, That when the storms keep coming and in my eyes is fear

You’ll be right beside me and helping me stand tall, Encouraging me, lifting me, and never moving one bit at all

So when the worst is over, and the clouds begin to clear, To you I stand by also should the torrents ever come near

Because in the end I have you, and you have all of me, And for that very fact, I thank God on bended knee

That through the worst of all of it and with the Worst of Me, You loved me in spite of myself and showed me how true love could be

Published or not, I always enjoy your thoughts.

�

It’s been a trend for a while now - it certainly didn’t start with Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, George Clooney or any other ridiculously politically correct celebrity in the last few years although they sure helped popularize it. Nope, the trend among many Americans - especially celebrities - has been to save all of Africa, most of Asia and any other impoverished part of the world… unless the need would happen to be in our own back yard right here in the United States. In that case, many Americans would and do think it necessary to skip the local charity in favor of a more “worthy” cause that would benefit those in some far-off land. It seems a lot like a savior complex or political correctness… carried to the extreme.

To be more specific, most of us are all too well aware that the world is sadly a world of haves and have-nots. It’s a world where the inequalities are so apparent that it can be incredibly disheartening to watch or read the news and hear stories of people suffering from abuse, neglect, war, and natural disasters. Conversely, some are born with a silver spoon in their mouth and are blessed with every possible type of good fortune most of their lives. And billions are somewhere in the middle. Such is the case with Colton. He is on the upper/better end of being born in the middle.

As of this writing, Colton is in the mountains of Colorado, enjoying hikes in the woods, beautiful streams and some of the best sights that nature has to offer. Earlier this summer he has enjoyed time on the lake, fishing in a Southwest Missouri stream, and the cornfields of Iowa. Last summer, he spent time on those and other leisure activities, as well as time combing the beaches of Florida for shells. Next summer he will likely take in much of what San Diego has to offer. And if things go according to plan, he will see a fair amount of Europe and/or Mexico in the next couple of years. And the kicker? Colton is four.

But what sounds like priviledge is actually reaping the benefits of being an only child and grandchild and a member of a loving extended family. And if we are ever fortunate enough to provide for another child in some way besides Colton? We will likely do it right here in our community. Our charity money? It too is usually given here - we can worry about saving Africa AFTER we’ve helped provide a country where Colton can continue to enjoy some nice things in life. And I refuse to feel guilty for not being politically correct.

Singer John Cougar Mellencamp held a huge rally to help save farms in the 1980’s - American farms. Instead of adopting kids from all 200 and someodd countries in an attempt for a photo opp, he made every effort to do something locally. He would likely endure something just shy of the Salem Witch Trials for trying to help Americans now - too egocentric of him (of course). There is a reason that virtually all emergency protocol on planes, ships and the like mandate that you help yourself before attempting to help others. It’s impossible to do a lick of good when you save everyone but yourself. As always, I look forward to your thoughts.

For those who aren’t big on keeping up with the latest television shows, there is one on during the week called “America’s Got Talent.” The show features real people from across the United States who get a minute or two on stage to stand in front of three celebrity judges, a large studio audience, and several million viewers watching at home. The contestants can showcase any talent they want and the three judges briefly watch them to determine if the talent being displayed is worthy to go on to the next round. Like other shows of this type, the contestants are competing against each other to see who has a talent that the American public absolutely loves. (They usually get an idea of their popularity very quickly based on the collective boos or cheers from the large audience in front of them.) When watching from home, the viewer can see all kinds of acts - everything from fire juggling, to tap dancing, to sword swallowing, snake charming and on and on and on. The show is quite entertaining, simply because of the broad spectrum of abilities that are shown.

Watching the show from time to time has helped reinforce the thought that each of us has a unique talent or gift of some sort, even if it is so latent that we never really discover it. To be more specific, I have heard the following statement many, many times in my life: “You (or they) sure are good at ______ (fill in the blank)! I sure wish I was good at something like that! I can’t sing or speak or anything but IF I did have a special talent, it sure would be nice.” Many of us have said or heard a statement similar to that. The older I get, the more I believe that statements along those lines are utter nonsense. We ALL have something unique to bring to the table in life.

So why do most people believe that they do NOT have something to bring to the table? Several reasons, in my opinion. First, most of us are busy being impressed with what others can do and marveling in their abilities. Too much focus on others takes away from our ability to develop our own talent(s). Secondly, you have to take an active interest in something - i.e., make a decision. If you like to sing, go for it. If you like to write, go for that. Not sure? Try a bunch of things. Third, it takes work. I enjoy speaking to groups of people and feel as though I do a respectable job at it. But it is something I have worked tirelessly at my entire life. No talent can be developed without lots and lots of practice. Finally, showcasing our talent takes guts and sometimes a lot of them. Putting our talent out there for the world to see means we risk being embarrassed and falling flat on our face. And none of us in our right mind enjoys being ridiculed. But that is a chance that must be taken with the development of any talent.

Many of us may never get to the level of showmanship seen by some of the contestants on the show. But… that is not what’s important. Our talent or gift may simply be in our giving nature or ability to selflessly help others. Whatever our abilities happen to be, may we develop them to the fullest and not be afraid to use them. As always, I look forward to your thoughts.

For many years, I have been convinced that everyone goes through periods in his or her life when they are on some type of a rollercoaster. The only thing is, it’s typically a rollercoaster they don’t want to be on. It can be an emotional rollercoaster, a physical/painful one, a financial one, and so on. And having been on them myself, I know that questions abound such as, “Why am I going through this?” or “When can I get off of this crazy ride and just ride the Ferris Wheel?” and can plague someone so much as to keep them from sleeping or having decent mental health. It may be of little consolation, but each of us is not the first, or the last, to be on some type of rollercoaster while wanting off.

Take Old Testament Joseph (Genesis, approximately chapters 33-45) and what he went through. And get this - it’s a true story. Joseph is the youngest son of Jacob and Rachel and he is their favorite since he is the last one to be born. His teenage years are relatively normal, except that like a lot of biblical folks, he witnesses his fair share of trauma. Since he is the favorite, he gets a really fancy robe from his dad as a present. So… his brothers are really, really jealous of him. This is where things start to get crazy. Joseph is good at interpreting dreams which makes his brothers hate him more than they do already. So… while traveling they decide to kill him. One brother thinks that is a bit harsh so they decide to sell him into slavery instead of actually killing him and just tell their dad that he got killed by a wild animal. So now Joseph is a slave in Egypt. Life is not looking good for Joseph.

As a slave, Joe works for a guy by the name of Potiphar, who is fairly powerful in Egypt. Joe is a very handsome guy and so Potiphar’s wife really wants to sleep with him. Being the good guy he is, Joe keeps saying no until it really makes Potiphar’s wife mad. So much so that she accuses him of rape, even though he did nothing wrong. Of course Potiphar believes his wife and so he has Joe thrown into prison. (Note: now stuff is even worse for Joseph.) While in prison, Joseph again shows his character and at least gets to have some leeway and authority in the jail; therefore, things aren’t quite as bad as they could be - a small ride upward on the rollercoaster… BUT he is still in prison.

Finally, the Pharaoh of Egypt has a dream that he needs help with. Joseph helps him understand this enormous dream and understand it correctly. Not only is Joseph made second in command of the entire country of Egypt, he saves millions of lives from famine and eventually holds the fate of his brothers who sold him in his hands (he forgives them). He becomes rich, powerful and, in this particular story, forgiving.

I’m summarizing greatly for the sake of space but Joseph rode a rollercoaster in life that would make most of our heads spin, regardless of what we have been through. However, God was with him and he got off the terror-filled ride. Not only did he exit the ride, he exited it as a much stronger and better person than when he was forced onto it and exited in a much better situation. While our rollercoaster rides are often no fun, very few compare to this man’s. I’m hoping to learn from what he went through. As always, I look forward to your thoughts.

We all need more reasons to celebrate! 

May Day recently passed and Cinco de Mayo is just two days away. We should be ready. These two celebrations are both important days… maybe…?

I had no idea what either meant but I knew that I had put flowers on doors as a child (May Day) and had heard that we should party hard when it was the fifth of May in college (Cinco de Mayo). So, it was time to figure out why they were/are important. Turns out that neither of them are important but both are a bit interesting.

The actual reasons we celebrate are related to the fact that we simply want something to celebrate. May Day goes back to the days before Christ and has to do with the British celebrating the spring weather - not sure of all the details and they didn’t begin to hold my interest. Cinco de Mayo, in similar actuality, has nothing to do with the Mexican day of independence as commonly believed, but instead some war that was waged centuries ago.

I don’t have strong feelings one way or the other about these “holidays.” For the few children left in the country who put flowers on door handles, that is great for them. And for the millions of college kids who need a reason to do something on the fifth of May each year… well, that is their business too. And I think I finally figured out something I had been curious about for most of my life - something which involved obscure “holidays.” I had wondered why we had some of the celebrations we do. Turns out that…

We all need more reasons to celebrate!

The very bizarre sect/religion known as Scientology is making news again, and this time the truth is harsher than usual. Tales of abuse, ranging all the way from physical to mental and emotional, abound. And yet, celebrities still seem to drink the Kool-Aid known as Scientology. Even though Tom Cruise is beyond crazy and I have personally vowed to never see his movies again (not that he cares but it is the principle of the matter - I cannot in good conscience support a lunatic who refuses help), he is not the issue at hand.

The real issue? The issue is that we need to not blindly play the game of Follow The Leader. That is what Cruise has done… blindly played Follow The Leader. In this case, the “leader” in question is a man by the name of L. Ron Hubbard. Not to intentionally be offensive but here is the reality. While Cruise admittedly cannot read or write, he can go on national television with the medical certainty/knowledge of a trained medical doctor (he has)?!? Should the general population of the United States listen to a man (Cruise) who cannot read, but like Mary Baker Eddy and Joseph Smith (to name just two) before him, helped push a religion based on nothing more than his imagination? While creative, it does nothing but confuse most of the population who see John Travolta, Tom Cruise, and other famous names babbling on about the virtues of this so-called religion.

I have nothing personally against Tom Cruise. I haven’t ever met him and doubt that I ever will. However, if I did meet him, he would probably take quick aim at my Christianity - pointing to the Crusades, the murders, the plundering… all done in the name of Christ. He would likely ask me to prove that my religion is true, which of course is not possible for anyone of any faith, and then ask me how we are really that different in our viewpoints.

While faith is just that - faith and faith alone - one thing is certain. God gave us all a brain which, like many members of general society, some celebrities choose not to use. It is a faith and strength (cowardness sometimes as in Jim Jones’ case? If you didn’t know, he couldn’t do it himself - do as I say, not as I do type of thing…) that even Jones himself held within. It’s the strength we each have to use our brain… and therefore proactively choose to not pick up that glass of Kool-Aid….

I haven’t ever lost my right arm and am certainly not making light of people who have been through such a tragedy. However, throughout history, there have been millions who have lost something almost as serious as a limb… only because they misplaced it when they weren’t paying much attention. And unlike losing a body part, we each feel a bit more foolish because we have lost something simply because it wasn’t attached. While I am not suggesting I have lost something that serious, I have always identified with the silly and ancient cliche - “I’d lose my head if it wasn’t attached.”

It would seem that many years ago (pre-car era), it would be fairly traumatic when you simply misplaced your horse and buggy. Being your mode for transportation, work, livelihood, etc., it would not strike you as funny when you forgot where you put your horse and wagon. And for the record, we aren’t talking about theft here. That would be a bit more understandable because someone would be forcibly taking something from you against your will. We are referring to you simply being so absent-minded that you aren’t really sure where you put something.

I’m ashamed to say it has happened to me. I have (hopefully temporarily) misplaced my flash/jump drive. For those of you who are wondering what that is, it is the equivalent of 30 floppy disks from years ago or 100 planners and notebooks years before that. It is your whole life stored on something not much bigger than a third of a hot dog - literally. And that is how life changes. You can lose a wheel, a recipe, a pet, a car, a notebook, a book, or any number of other important items… none of which is as serious as losing a body part or family member.

However, we all learn. A loss is still a loss, whether big or small. In the last few years, I have lost a tremendous amount, including my jump/flash drive. But… I’ve also gained a tremendous amount in the process. So while losing a limb does not sound like my idea of a good time, perhaps if I had to I could grow from it. As always, I look forward to your thoughts.

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A long, but interesting movie is The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, starring Brad Pitt as Benjamin. The premise of the movie - and the premise only - is based off of the short story by famed novelist F. Scott Fitzgerald bearing the same title. In the movie, Benjamin is born toward the end of the first World War, not as a baby but as a crippled and elderly man. It is so apparent that something is wrong with the newborn that his father abandons him and he is raised by his “momma” - a kind lady who takes him in as her own son. It takes a few years but eventually Benjamin and his momma figure out that Benjamin is in fact aging… it just so happens that he is aging in reverse. Instead of getting older, he is actually getting younger. As viewers, we see Benjamin’s life in it’s entirety, from birth to death, through romance and heartache, through the good times and the tough. While a key thematic element is definitely love and romance, I would make the case that the stronger message throughout - from the very beginning until the very end - is the humanity we all share and which binds us together, regardless of how or where we were born.

In the movie, it doesn’t take long for the viewer to see that Benjamin understands that: life is going to happen. And from early on he learns to embrace the changes in his life rather than fear them. His body changes yearly, but not like everyone else he knows. He sees a great deal of change from early in life and is forced from the very beginning to live in several worlds simultaneously - one where death is commonplace, one full of racial discord but with racial harmony at home, one where he has the mind of a child but the body of an old man, and so forth. In short, he has to learn to embrace change. And he does. Somehow he figures out that, to live life to the fullest, constant change is something he will have to embrace. And that is how we see his life played out, with Benjamin embracing change and living life to the fullest because of it. In a letter to his daughter, he even tells her she can do anything she wants and start over any time she wants, as long as she is willing to try something different.

And it’s that theme of change that likely struck a cord with me the most. As is typical for the human race, changing my habits is difficult for me once I’m set in my ways. We are creatures of habit and products of our past successes and failures. I’ve seen more change in just the last few years than many people see in twenty years or more. Some of it has been change for the better and some of it for the worse, but it has kept me on my toes and from being too comfortable. My most recent change was a lengthy decision to resign from my full time job to finish an advanced degree. My hope that is stronger than my discomfort? That I will experience growth and continue with a life experience that I can carry with me for years to come.

The character in the movie doesn’t always make the right decisions. But he does seem to be at peace with change and we see him living out his life to the fullest and dying with some level of contentment that he embraced it fully and did the best he could with what he was given. (As a sidenote, the moviemakers are not attempting any religious, moral, or ethical statements one way or the other here so regardless of what you believe, the movie should be viewed for exactly what it is - simply a story about life.) My personal hope is to continue to embrace some level of change for as long as I have breath to breathe. Because although I won’t grow from all of the changes in my life, I will continue to grow from many of them. And anything or anyone that is growing is still living… to the best of its ability.

With the glass ceiling still in place in the USA, it is a bit amusing to write about inequality claiming that the male is on the down side of anything. For some, I imagine that I would be burned at the stake if it were legal. Nonetheless, I must tell the truth and I challenge anyone to disagree with me (or at least anyone who could offer proof to the contrary).

The situation is amusing to some extent but rough for many who are like me, who are germaphobes. Bathrooms for men are filthy; those for women, not so bad. How on earth do I know this? I was traveling recently with my family when my stomach had problems. I am accustomed to stomach problems; I have had them since I was about 18 years old. At that time, Dr. Donald Metry prescribed me some blue pills (I doubt Mom and Dad remember) and they helped me feel better. But then the stomach problems continued… and have for the duration of my life. Usually I have enough warning that we can stop, visit the restroom, and life is normal.

However, there have been times recently when I do not have time to wait for the “mens” restroom which are the equivalent of a unisex restroom; I have had to use the women’s. As soon as I have, I have fallen in love. They are so much cleaner - Howie Mandel would be proud! In case you need me to be more specific, I will: men’s restrooms are filthy and women’s are not. Period. I believe some would suggest that men are just dirtier and that is the reason for the difference. But… there are checklists on both walls which require that they be inspected by management every hour. So why is it that men’s restrooms are allowed to be filthy (and I mean really, really disgusting) while women’s are clean and even smell good? It just seems to be how we roll….

Am I griping? Maybe a little…. Okay, maybe I am really hacked off. So next month, maybe we’ll talk about where women are still done wrong. In the mean time, can we not figure out how on earth we can all come to terms with the inequality of bathroom cleanliness? I always enjoy your thoughts and hearing from you.

I read a little bit of everything. Good or bad, I read it. I read Newsweek, Time, the Bible, fiction, non-fiction, sci-fi (rarely), newsletters, newspapers, internet news, biographies, comics (again, rarely), manifestos, textbooks, love letters, billboards, graffiti, and the list goes on. It’s almost as though my brain craves more and more information. My guess is that it makes each of us feel better when we feel informed. So here is what is sad…

Discrimination is illegal, as it should be. It is illegal to discriminate based on race, religion, national origin, belief system, age, and so on. That isn’t the part that is sad. What IS sad is that in much of what we read, we are lead to believe that if we are wronged, there is something that the government - federal usually - can do about. We read that if we simply file a claim with OSHA, our attorney, the HR office of the company, the social security office, the attorney general, or some other government entity, they will right the wrong that has been done against us. And that is exactly where I would contend that most of us in the American public are quite naive.

I have worked in more than a couple of environments when HR rules were certainly being broken and local, state, and/or federal law was being broken as well. And large corporations, as well as small business owners or politicians would have you believe that you could take action to right that wrong. Maybe. And maybe not.

Am I suggesting this month that we all become jaded and give up the good fight when we or someone around us is being personally wronged? No. What I am suggesting is that we become less naive in our dealings with entities much larger than us. I have had to learn the hard way to “keep it real,” and to understand that I’m not nearly as powerful sometimes as those who have done something against me. I’ll close with a Kenny Rogers thought. While the Gambler might seem silly to some, the words provide excellent advice for life: “You’ve got to know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em, know when to walk away and know when to run. You never count your money, sittin’ at the table; they’ll be time enough for countin’ when the dealins’ done.”