We have all heard the stories about the business person who counts down the months and weeks to his or her retirement and then - bam - the big day comes. Finally a chance to relax, enjoy life and not have to go into the office any longer. But we have also heard and read where that employee then looks for something to do, tries taking up golf, tries playing cards with friends, tries other activities, only to find that he is somewhat bored and doesn’t feel a sense of purpose. Then, a year or so into retirement he drops over dead from a heart attack (even though there may not have been any prior history of heart-related problems). The reasoning behind many studies which have been conducted on the subject is that without a sense of purpose for getting up each day, the human mind and body no longer have a reason for living.

Obviously retirement doesn’t affect everyone this way but the point is a valid one: in addition to enjoying today, we must have goals and a vision of our agenda for tomorrow, in order to have a healthy sense of self-worth. And that seems to be the case regardless of what stage of life we are in. Very young children, for example, when told they are going to the zoo the next day or that they will be going on a class trip, will go to bed with a sense of happiness and excitement that cannot be matched on an ordinary evening. Employees of almost any type of business look forward to Friday because they know they have two days to spend with their spouses and children. And grandparents of any age look forward to holidays and special events when they can spend time playing with and bragging about their grandchildren.

Which leads me to my point…. Most of us get through the rough days, sometimes rough weeks and months, because our brain reminds of us good times to come. We look forward to our vacation, our time with our family, or the next big “life goal” that will feel good once accomplished. And the goals or dreams, while they can be shared with those closest to us, need to be uniquely our own. Our brain is not wired to function to live only for the dream or dreams of someone very close to us. They have to be our own. Period. It’s healthy and bonding to share the dreams of our children, our spouse, our parents, and our friends. But when it comes to being healthy, we need a few that we can proudly say to ourselves, “That goal is mine!”

My next goal is to run a marathon this fall. I’m not a natural runner and not very good at it so for me, this is fairly lofty. It started with a completed half marathon this spring and has grown into the goal/dream of completing a full one. For some athletes, this would not be a big accomplishment. For others, this goal would seem like an impossibility. But that’s what’s unique about the goal - it belongs to me. Yours may be to lose 5 pounds in the next few months, to quit smoking, or to sail the Pacific Ocean in a small boat.

Whatever it may be, I would encourage you to have a goal for tomorrow. It may just be the thing that keeps you alive through the bad times and carries you through to another day. May June be a wonderful month for you and as always, I look forward to your comments.